I'm skipping JAP class at the moment. Damn Japs. I don't feel like putting in the effort today. Too lazy. Blah. I know people tell me I should practice by going to class and JAP tables, but, honestly, I don't give 2 shits about practicing. My opinion is that's why God invented manga (reading comprehension) and Utada (listening comprehension). Right?

JAPANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Sorry - got a little carried away there. I still can't believe it's happening (LOL! I originally wrote "japenning." I think that's appropriate). I AM GOING TO JAPAPAPAPAPAPANNNN!

I have 3 meetings today. The first was about Japan. I had it at 9 this morning (JAPAN! AHH!). Next, at 2, I have a meeting with my creative writing teacher to discuss my story. From the criticism she's given to other people, I am getting ready to be ripped apart. But I LIKE MY STORY, dammit! So I won't be offended. She's a nutbag anyway. And then at 3 I have a meeting with my linguistics professor to discuss my project. I can't wait til that spawn of satan is over.

I am in a great mood! Today is a beautiful day! :-)

ps - I'm not listening to fall out boy! I swear! Why would I do that??! God!

I GOT INTO NANZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!! *victory dance*

Oh shit. I am going to Japan. For a whole year. As in, I will be in a different culture entirely not my own. ASIANS! ahhh! OMG OMG OMG! I WILL BE IN JAPAN IN 5 MONTHS! HOLY MOLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The truth is, I am very much in love. Saying good-bye to him in May will be one of the hardest things I will ever do in my entire life. The good news: he is going to try to get a job in Japan if he ends up not getting JET because we are going to do our damned best to stay together. Despite the distance, I think I can still love him. Last night when I was on the phone with my mom, she reminded me that Greg and I only have about a month left together. Cue the sappy music and tears. Well, the tears were there, anyway.

On that note, I will be living with him and his roomates for a few days in May after the dorms close. I don't want to think about the future. I don't want May 16th to come. God, please let him get JET so we can be together in Japan.

End rant on love story.

Random Rant

I am only going to write quickly on one thing I never really thought about before until now.

My brothers are assholes. My brother Pat uses my parents completely and lies to them. He has been verbally abusive to both me and my mother (mostly to me) and he almost ruined many occasions with his stupiditiy. He never tells ANYONE in my family he "loves them" or "appreciates them." He never shares anything about himself. He lacks the fundamental skills to have a completely compassionate relationship with someone.
Joel is distant. He did that on purpose a long time ago. He never attempted to make a relationship with ANYONE in my family ever. I would even call what we barely have a "relationship."

The reason I write about that is this. Greg's mom called him the other day while we were hanging out in my room. Holy Lord, that had to be the sweetest conversation I have ever heard in my entire life. He and his mom seemed to have a bond, which is something my parents never established with their sons. He never told his mom "fuck you" or anything (something that goes on a LOT in my family). I didn't even understand. I know this is strange, but the kindness he showed toward his mother practically moved me to tears. My brothers would NEVER show any kindness or respect or love to my mom, that is to say, if they ever even called each other in the first place. My brothers are assholes who set up a false impression of men for me. Greg proved me wrong, and I am so thankful.

Not only that, Greg told me about how he was protecting his sister from getting hit on at a bar. My brothers would never stick up for me in that type of situation. I have finally met someone that helped me change my opinion on the generalizations I make toward men.

I hate being moody, stressed out to the max, and sleepless.

Not to mention I feel like the worst friend in the world at the moment. For that, I am sorry. *sigh*

I am writing a very important paper at the moment that's due tomorrow, but I am this close to saying "fuck it" and going to bed and just waking up tomorrow morning to do it, GAH!

I feel horrible. Here is your unpleasant post for the day...